Monday, February 26, 2007

Did another one of these gender sensitivity training workshops this morning. I thought I'd try to dress down, look business like, to balance out these ridiculous hookerish/drag queen looking fake eyelashes I've got stuck to my eye lids (see previous post).

So, I put on this navy blue v-neck jumper I bought on a sale from Zara, which I had never worn before, and dark grey pants. As I walked towards the train I realized something was wrong. The jumper was too big for me (no I didn't try it on - the queues for the changing rooms at Zara were longer than a yak's penis), and I was showing too much chest. Not that I have much to show for, but the tip of the V seemed to go lower than my armpits and that didn't seem quite right. Normally this wouldn't really bother me but I didn't want complaints from the other trainer or the class, so I kept having to yank my top back. Now that is really the last thing I want to do, is to show a room full of strangers that I am conscious about showing a bit of (flat) chest.

After my morning session was over I had lunch with the other trainer and then on my way to the train station I entered one of these trashy small boutiques. A Dennis the Menace style black and red stripy jumper caught my eye, if you really want to know. Inside the shop, instead of SE Asian techno music, it was a local radio station that was on. One of these idiotic talk shows where two morons laugh at their own jokes (no, they weren't even jokes, just utterances), making stupid comments like oh that kate winslet she was dressed like a mummy at the Oscars! Waaahahahahaaaaa why did she wrap herself in bandages?? wAAAHhhhssaaaaahwahhh I don't know! Well she is big as she is being bandaged up is not the look for her la ma!!! WahhhAAAAHAHAHAHhahah! What about Meryl Streep? She looked like she was popping down to the local 7-11 for a bottle of evian! Yeah she had been to too many Oscars like just popping down to the 7-11! WAHHHHHhhahaahahahwahhah... so funny! Laugh die me!

Man. Somebody shoot me. Or them, I thought to myself.

(Speaking of the Oscars, did Ellen Degeneres look smashing in white or what? And how about that Jodie Foster? What lovely hair! Stunning frock! What's up with Reese Witherspoon? Did she get herself a chin implant?)

1 comment:

Sean McDermott said...

Them. Shoot them. No question. And breakfast show hosts. Shoot them too