Monday, January 22, 2007

The madness returns

I was slightly crazy yesterday. All my usual failings. I said some stuff to my kids which I regretted. Here's a sample:

"I don't know! I DON'T KNOW!" (very loudly)

"Get out of my sight." (calmly and without meeting his eyes - he then disappeared in his room and was reading out loud his Dilbert Calendar, very animated, laughing)

"Why can't I do anything that I want! Huh? Ever think about that?!" (and I think this really was the worse, for this was said in response to his "why can't I do anything that I want!")

I must have looked pretty barking mad, judging from the looks on my children's faces. You know, no make up, Brylcreem-less hair, still in my pyjamas (unwashed for a week), covered in cookie crumbs. Just when I thought I was getting better at containing this inexplicable rage that explodes every now and then, it gets me again.

There are ways to cope with it, sure, but sometimes I really don't feel like I have the energy. Sometimes I just want to sit there, limbs splayed out, expressionless, staring into space.

I am a lot more composed this morning. I want to make a fresh start to this semester, and change my work habits. Mainly by working more and pottering less. It is a challenge, but I will try.

2 comments:

Brian Donovan said...

Brylcreem + tennis skirt = ?

Pierre said...

Brylcreem does wonders for all hair types, is cheaper than margarine, and like it says on the tub, the new improved formula really is non-greasy. REALLY.