Monday, April 03, 2006

The Heart

I'm heading home in 10 minutes. Allow me to leave you with this bit of surrealist crap/genius:

To retain its perfect freshness, keep THE HEART dry. UNLIKE similar products, THE HEART WILL EXPAND WHILE DRYING OUT. All actions performed with THE HEART are therefore definitive.

PREPARATION OF SENTIMENTS: To one measure of delirium, add 2.5 measures of HEART. Stir until a sentimental solution forms. Allow to stand for one night. While you sleep, the sentiment will take on the desired consistency (creamy, oily or malleable). Do not prepare more HEART than you can use immediately, since even in a short space of time it tends to cling.

IMPORTANT: THE HEART acts like a cement, so delirium must never be added to previously prepared sentiment, nor should it be 'dwelt on' too long. THE HEART hardens in two hours. Increase the dosage of HEART in the first few seconds if you desire a sentiment with a firmer consistency.

THE HEART casts a self-satisfied glow over generous and kind individuals.

When applied to meaner personalities however (especially if allowed to penetrate the whole being) it tends to be dissipated throughout the pores and becomes totally transparent.

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