Saturday, October 20, 2007

OK, kind of a restaurante review of some sort

Went to Morton's in the Sheraton for dinner on Thursday. My friend's been recommending it for ages and I finally went.

Ate steak the size of my head plus my arse and perhaps more. I loved that thing they put on before they showed you the menu. 20 kilos worth of dripping red meat, wrapped in clingfilm, one huge tomato, one head of broccoli, one beastly looking potato, one bunch of asparagus, one live lobster, presented on a trolley. Waiter waitress patiently explains to you exactly what each appetizer, each cut of meat, each veg + potatoe dish, and what each desert is. All in a very noisy and completely packed, very dimly lit room. So, they were kind of shouting at us whilst trying very hard to look pleasant and happy to serve and all that. And the diner, likewise, trying to nod at the right intervals adn look attentive amidst all the carnivorerousitious madness of it all.

I loved the way the steaks arrived, slapped on a plain white plate as it is, no garnish, no drizzling of fancy sauces, no fucking nothing I mean, not even a sprig of curly parsley! Just a plain old 20 oz slap of meat, barely cooked, right in front of ya. What is one to do, when confronted with the meatiolosisity of it all? It was quite moving. I might even have wept.

The tomotoes, ordered as a "salad", came drenched in blue cheese so thick you wouldn't recognize the tomatoes when you see them. The oysters were really fresh, and very good value. Scallops were wrapped in fatty crispy bacon, obscene yet healthy. And the potatoes lyonnaise, so charred and burned and drenched in fat you .... well, you just had to laugh.... they were obviously considered a joke in the kitchen. "Sheeeyaaah.... those buggers in table 15 ordered potatoes. Ya... potatoes...! Let's give them potatoes aauwwright!@#$^#%S"

We didn't even dare to touch said potatoes. We felt it would be disrespectful to the meat.

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