Monday, September 04, 2006

Lunatics in da house

The boys are getting ready for school. J sat in front of the shoe cabinet, which is right by the front door, putting his shoes on. Shoes that have velcro. Still, it's taking him forever.

O screams "Let me get my shoes! MOVE!"
"I'm putting my shoes on!"
"AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! I'll KILL YOU!!" O screams again.

Me says, gently, "Stop it now, guys."

"Wait! I'm putting my shoes on!!!"
"MOVE! I can't get my shoes!!!!"
"NO!!!!!! YOU MOVE!"

Me, louder, "Stop it!"

"Why do you torture me!! Let me get my shoes!"
"Shut up!"

Me walk over to the pair of lunatics, am about to scream, but stop my self on hearing our neighbour getting out of the apartment. He's gone. I resume:

"What are you guys doing? Do you have to squabble like this every morning? Didn't I tell you to stop?"

"But O said he will kill me!!"
"I did not!"
"Yes you did!"
"I want to get my shoes!"
" But I am putting my shoes on!"
"You should move!"

"OKAY!!!! SHUT UP THE PAIR OF YOU!!"
"Listen! J! You should move if you are in the way!"

"But O didn't ask me nicely!" He's kinda sobbing now, fake or real, I know not.
"Yes, O, you should ask him nicely! Why do you have to shout all the time?"

Then, I see O's shoes, right in front of him, staring at him, mocking me. He didn't need to get to the shoe cabinet afterall. I can not contain myself anymore. I pick up the shoe in one hand, waving it in O's face.

"What is this?"
".... my PE shoes..."
"Didn't you see them? They are right here! RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!"
"I thought I have to wear my black shoes today."
"Black shoes?"
"Yes, it's not PE day today."
"LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE WEARING! TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE WEARING!"
"...eh... my PE uniform?"
"YES! ARE YOU BLIND?" Note that I didn't say "fucking blind". I was trying my best.

I am losing it by now. I start - God have mercy on me - whacking him on the head with the shoe as I scream:

"You can't live in your own head all the time! LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU! PAY SOME ATTENTION TO WHAT IS AROUND YOU! YOU CAN'T LIVE IN YOUR OWN HEAD THE WHOLE TIME!"

Poor O. He is stunned. He suddenly realised that his mother is a loon ball. She is fucking nuts. He starts crying. Really upset.

Then J starts crying, too. "Mum, it is not good to hit someone on the head with a shoe....wu~~~~wu~~~~~wu~~~"

Good God.


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Moral of the story - parents should not aim to make their children perfect. They should aim to make themselves perfect.

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