Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I don't like her

If you can see me now, I look like I'm in an advert. I'm lying on my tummy typing away at my super slim notebook computer. Glass of red wine to my right, set of dumbells to my left. I'm wearing bright green green plastic rim glasses and looking kinda intellectual with my floppy grey streaked short black hair. Not sure what kind of advert this could be though. Anyhow, feeling kinda glamourous all of a sudden. ER will be on in a minute.

Am going to be on a panel to interview 7 candidates shortlisted for two posts in our department on Friday. One of the shortlisted was a student from our department who has either just finished her M Phil last year or is finishing this year. Can't really remember. Anyhow, she was teaching one section of the introduction to sociology course this semester. I was quite surprised she was given the job, actually, even though she her students were nearly all associate degree students.

Anyhow, I've never seen her in action but she came across as possessing the key virtues of a buffalo and not much else - she ploughs and ploughs from sun rise to sun set and never complains.

She doesn't look much like a buffalo, though. She is about five foot six, skinny as a bamboo stick, slouches and wears too much foundation. Anyhow, she came into my office yesterday to talk about some inane matter and she freaked me out. She was self-conscious and fidgety in a most scary way. I was in my swiveling chair but was too scared to move as she leaned closer and closer towards me.

How does someone get to be so uncomfortable under her own skin? I'm talking about her, not me. How does someone get to be so goddam fucking WEIRD.

She was on a roll with that putting herself down, over-apologetic, grossly exaggerated facial expression do. I was cursing under my breath at first and wanted to snap at her "for fuck's sakes what the fuck do you think you are doing!! Snap out of it you fool!!" but predictably I swear at people far less than I actually should. So, instead, I said, as I slowly inch away from her coated face, "look, you need to stop putting yourself down. You need to have confidence in what you do... you need to blah blah..." But man, I really wanted to just slap her and tell her to get the hell out of my face.

Anyway, so I was thinking, if I have any say at all, I wouldn't want to give her the job.

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