Paintings much better viewed in coffee table books

About that Impressionims show. Okay, so not that very often do some of the world's greater (I can't say greatest) paintings come into town. But the way the whole thing was arranged just did not fit in with me as a visitor to the exhibition. I had both kids with me and the only reason I thought we should go was that O had been learning about Impressionists at school and he seems to really like drawing and painting.... Anyway, I was being a good parent. Of course he was all excited about it beforehand, but the minute we got in there, he yawned and declared he wanted to go home. This was all too predictable but one always should live in hope I suppose. I thought I could at least have him interested for long enough befor I start getting bored.

It only took him 15 seconds to get bored and so I had to drag them through crowds of sophisticated looking folk who were ALL discussing solemnly about the painitings (except for this one family, the father pointed to a Manet saying "look, a black man, no, it's a black woman" . And the daughter pointing to a Degas, "that's the Nobel Prize guy".... etc.") J kept trying to go up to touch the painings and each time some freaking alarm went "Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep", swiftly followed by security personnel sign languaging to me what I thought must have meant, "Keep it down. Keep your kids away from these very valuable works of art. Or we will call the police." Then B phoned and I answered to tell him we were already inside. I had the phone on vibrate instead of sound and I wasn't bellowing so I really felt injustice was done when security personnel approached me again, this time gesturing what I thought must have meant "no mobile phones in here you uncultered mother of two who dresses like a peasant".

After all of the above and much more later, I had to excuse myself and evacuate the exhibition hall. To get some fresh air.