Madam Butterfly

"Okay... so, you'll learn to do the butterfly today."

"Huh???"

"Yes, the butterfly. Start with the kick. Here's how."

"....."

"Okay, your turn now. Remember, use your abs. It's all in your core."

"... my core... abs... I don't have abs."

"Whatever. Just give it a go."

So there I was, having been initiated into the art of the butterfly. For the first couple of attempts, I kinda floated on the water, very still, trying to think what to do. I did that a few times, behaving bit like a very large dead fish. That's what over-intellectualizing does to your swimming, I suppose.

"You gotta stick your butt up."

"Stick my butt up?"

"Yeah, and then imagine you're a dolphin."

"A dolphin?"

"Yeah, a dolphin. You know, like in Ocean Park."

And those were the magic words. They rang a bell. I see The Big Blue. I see Ocean Park. I see me, I see the dolphin.

And before you know it, voila! I was doing the butterfly kick! It was pure magic. Well, up to a point. Problem is, I kept sinking as I kicked. At one point my nose was actually touching the bottom of the pool. I had to use my arms to push myself away from the floor for fear of smashing my face in.

Still gotta work on those arms though. Every time I tried to do the arms as well, I moved from being parallel to the pool floor, to becoming perpendicular to it. Until I was practically standing up. It was hilarious. Well, I guess you'd have to be there to see how hilarious it was.