Warning: possible spoiler!

It's been about three weeks since I got those stupid false eyelashes glued onto my eyelids. This is not your normal kind of false eyelashes glue they use, where you can just gently tear your falsies off at the end of the day. In Cantonese they call this procedure "eyelash transplant" - it's not a real transplant, obviously. What it is, is they use some kind of superglue. So your falsies don't come off until your real eyelashes drop off naturally.

Anyhow, if you, or anyone you know, are considering undergoing this procedure, this is for you.

Firstly, if you are going to do it, don't go where I went. It was all a bit Lo Wu Commercial City, and the persons in charge intimidating, to the point where you were too scared to assert your rights as a consumer or to run away.

Secondly, I think the room where I got "done" is also where the staff take their naps when business is slow. I think they might even rent the bed spaces out by the hour if you ask. The bed on which I laid had red satin sheets, and the "beautician" had to push the piles of bedding to one end in order to make room for me.

Thirdly, my right eye was inflamed for two days after I got them done. To avoid sticking your upper lashes to your lower lashes, they put a piece of hard plastic between your upper and lower eye lids to separate the lashes. Since I had my eyes closed I didn't see where that plastic came from, nor if it had been disposed of after they'd done me. I fear that they re-use it without sterilizing it properly.

Fourthly, if you are in the habit of rubbing your eyes, this will be a problem because everytime you rub your eyes, either in the shower or after watching a tear jerker or just inadvertently, your fakies are going to go crazy in all directions, making you look crazy also as a result.

Finally, if, like me, you don't have the patience to wait for them to drop off naturally, you will end up ripping them off with a pair of tweezers after a few glasses of wine, inducing considerable pain on yourself, and tearing out half your real lashes as well in the process. Yelling and swearing and screaming your head off in the process, scaring everyone in your household, and your neighbours.

Verdict: I will just go for normal fakies now, if I ever get the inexplicable urge to show up in public with ridiculously long and obviously fake eye lashes. I don't want to wake up again like this morning, with swollen eyelids, and next to no eyelashes on! Amen!