Do try this at home

Skived off today. Did a bit of wandering around in the mall and I came across this "special offer" in Watsons. Watsons is a chain of chemists/drugstores which sell everything from vibrators, seaweed flavoured crisps, disposable underpants to vision therapy eyewear. Today, vision therapy eyewear is on special offer. Two for $499.

Now, are you thinking, what on earth is vision therapy eyewear? Corrective contact lenses? Eye drops? Eye masks? Magnifying glasses? Naaaaah... check this out:



You are seeing right. It is a pair of plastic ray-bans with black plastic lenses that are dotted with lots of little holes. It is based on something called the bates method. Apparently it can correct myopia, presbyopia and astigmatism. Just wear these guys instead of your usual corrective eyewear.

I was suitably intrigued. I had perfect vision until the final year of writing up my DPhil thesis. My vision is -2.25 now and the brochure says these glasses work for anyone who's under -3.00.

Thoughts going through my head as I stood in front of the counter:

1. $499 for two pairs? Who needs two pairs?
2. $499 for two pairs? For what looks like something you could easily get in ToysRus for $4.99?
3. Wouldn't I, or anyone for that matter, look utterly ridiculous wearing them?
4. You know what, I'm going to MAKE myself a pair of these things....All I'm gonna need is a pair of old frames, some black constuction paper, and a drawing pin to punch in some holes.

I am not joking. I AM going to make myself some vision therapy eyewear. You just watch me. I'm doing it RIGHT NOW.